Solitude (Thorin x Reader)

“You don’t talk much do you?” You asked as you sat down beside the leader of the company. You have been trying to talk to him for the past few minutes but it was harder than you thought. He continued to smoke his pipe with a grumpy look on his face.

“No, I don’t,” He replied as he stood up and walked away. Your eyes followed him as he sat down on another spot further away. He continued to ignore you, smoking his pipe as he looked at the clouds of grey above. It looked like it was going to rain.

You knew that something was bothering him but whatever it was that troubled him, you wanted to know. It’s not easy to talk to Thorin for he was always guarded and the walls he built around himself was hard to penetrate. It broke your heart everyday for you had fallen in love with him and there was no escaping it. He always dodged your attempts to get closer and you didn’t know how much more you could take.

You slowly made your way to where he sat. You seated beside him once more but he paid no attention to you. He just looked straight, watching Bilbo and the other dwarves do their tasks. You took a deep breath as you gathered your thoughts together.

“Look, I know you don’t want to talk but I care about you. I know something is bothering you and I’m here to share the burden, Thorin. You’re not alone as you may think,” You told him gently as you got ahold of his arm.

He looked at you in surprise for he wasn’t expecting such a gesture from you of all people. Even though he felt grateful that you were there, his problems made him oblivious to it. It irritated him that you didn’t go away when he told you to.

“ Can’t you understand that I need some time alone?” He asked, slightly raising his voice. He was annoyed for you had invaded his personal space but at the same time he was very curious as to why you cared about him.

You looked down at your hands for this was the first time that Thorin raised his voice at you. You didn’t know what made him upset for you just wanted to help him out and he struck a sensitive nerve inside you that made you flinch.

“No, I can’t. I can’t understand why you always want to be alone. I can’t understand why you treat me differently than the others. A lot of people want to be your friend but you push them away before they could even get close. Please do make me understand!”

You were surprised at yourself for saying such things to Thorin and you found yourself standing up with your hands clenched in fists. He suddenly stood up and turned to look at you with annoyance and anger. He leaned in quite close to your face and gazed into your eyes.

“Because that’s just how I am!” He shouted at you but regret instantly filled his eyes as he realized what he had just done. He didn’t want to shout at you but he did because his anger got the best of him.

You gasped in surprise as Thorin tried to take a hold of your hand.

“ I’m sorry, I-“ He tried to explain but you instantly pulled your hand from his grasp and took your leave. You decided to take a walk further away from the camp.

“It was a mistake to talk to him,” You said to yourself as you walked away.

Thorin watched your retreating figure as the dwarves looked upon him with pitiful looks. Bofur and Balin were shaking their heads in disapproval. He felt bad as he realized that even if he wanted to take back what he had said, he couldn’t for it already hurt you.

He punched a tree in annoyance as the thunder roared and fat rain fell upon them.

“Why did you do that to the dear lass?”

Thorin turned around to look upon Balin who had his arms crossed upon his chest.

“I don’t know Balin, I guess I took it out on her.”

“The lass loves you, it’s pretty obvious. She always helps out when you ask her to, attempts to talk to you even if you push her away, and looks out for you. Don’t tell me you haven’t seen that?” Balin asked looking disappointed at Thorin.

Thorin was surprised at Balin’s words. He never knew of your feelings until now and suddenly everything clicked. He remembered your attempts to talk to him, how you smiled at him, how you patched him up when he got hurt and how you tried to encourage him. He noticed everything and he felt deep regret for the way he had treated you before. He was indeed lucky to have someone like you.

“I noticed that you like her too, but why push her away Thorin?” Balin asked curiously as he maintained eye contact.

“I’m trying to let her in but I don’t know how.”

“I’m sure you’ll figure it out on your own, Thorin,” He said placing a hand on Thorin’s shoulder as he left him to his own thoughts.

Rain started to pour as the company tried to go to sleep under the trees. Thunder roared as the rain intensified but Thorin didn’t leave his spot. He sat there, soaked, still waiting for your return. He was worried about you, wondering where you had been or if you were even safe. Every time the thunder roared and an hour passed, Thorin’s uneasiness intensified. All he ever wanted in that moment was for you to come back safely and he will try to make up for his mistake.

When you came back, you were wet and cold. You made your way to the company and noticed that they were all asleep but Thorin was nowhere to be found. You looked around for any sign of Thorin, for even If you were mad, you still loved him and probably it was his mysteriousness, not to mention grumpiness that attracted you to him in the first place.

You walked further away until you saw him. He didn’t leave the spot where you both sat hours ago and he continued to look ahead in the direction that you left. You didn’t know what to feel as you saw the man you love drenched and shivering and you realized that he never stopped waiting ever since you had left. You made your way to him slowly and you fell harder for him when you saw his face.

“Thorin?”

“Y/N”, he said as he turned around in relief that you were safe but his eyes suddenly filled with worry when he saw your appearance. He hastily ran up to you and took the blanket off himself. He wrapped it around you securely as his eyes met yours. He paused for a moment as his hands slid from your arms to your waist, pulling you close to him. You were quite surprised at his sudden actions for he had never acted this way before towards you or any woman that you’ve encountered along the way.

“Thorin?” You had so many questions swimming in your head but his smile answered them all.

He looked down and smiled warmly at you and you felt your breath hitch in your throat for you barely saw him smile and when he did, you always found your heart beating faster.

“I understand quite well now and I’m sorry Y/N. I didn’t notice,” He told you as he looked into your eyes.

“I hope that your feelings are still the same as they once were,” He said as he leaned in closer. He searched your eyes for your answer as he pulled you against his chest. He kissed your forehead gently and the touch of his lips against your skin made you shiver. His lips trailed from your forehead to your nose then he paused to look at your lips and shortly his lips met yours in a gentle kiss.

He pulled away to look at your reaction but he smiled once more as he leaned in for another. He pressed his lips upon yours, kissing you passionately. He wanted to make you feel his affections that he indeed liked you but he just didn’t know how to show it. He didn’t pull away until both of you were interrupted by the company’s applause and cheers.

You were so embarrassed that you buried your head in Thorin’s chest as he shot them a look of warning. Apparently, only Bofur understood Thorin while the others continued on with their teasing.

“Oh come on, give them some privacy!” shouted Bofur. The company laughed at the two lovebirds before them and pretended to go to sleep.

Thorin chuckled as he laced his fingers with yours.

“Come on, we better get some rest, we’ve got a big day ahead of us,” He said as he led you back to where the company huddled and for once Thorin felt genuine happiness, not thinking of the journey ahead.